


I Really Want To Feel You

by Telesilla



Series: I Only Want Your Trust [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, BDSM, Bondage, Dom/sub, M/M, Nipple Play, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-27
Updated: 2011-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-16 00:04:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's finding it easier and easier to submit to Rodney. Talking about it, well, that's another story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Really Want To Feel You

The next few days were incredibly busy. Rodney was pretty eager to get out and check out the city right away, and John was happy to let Elizabeth be the one to rein him in. To be fair, John was spending most of his time totally reworking Atlantis's security measures with Ford, Bates, and sometimes Teyla, but still, he was glad he didn't have to say "no" to Rodney this early on. His own meetings were hard enough; Bates was embarrassed at the failure of their security measures, and embarrassment, it seemed, made him angry.

Then again, everything made Bates angry. John might have felt more sympathy, but Bates didn't like John and hadn't tried all that hard to hide his resentment over having to answer to an Air Force officer who was also a sub. Thank God Ford was a little more flexible, even if he'd been weirdly chivalrous at first. That had ended when John had ordered him to use the defibrillator to stop John's heart when John had that bug attached to his neck. They'd gotten along a lot better after that.

"Okay," John said, turning his attention back to the matter at hand. "I think we've done as much as we can for today."

"Major," Bates began. Bates didn't like to call John sir, but it really didn't matter. John didn't feel like telling Bates that he'd been a sub officer in the military for almost 15 years; he was used to a lot worse than that. "We should...."

"I said we're done, Sergeant. We've been sitting here all day and we're starting to go around in circles."

"Also," Teyla said. "I believe I should talk with Halling before we continue. He might have some ideas about how to better secure our IDCs."

"Good idea," John said, saving his notes. "Thanks, people. I appreciate the input."

Ford hung around after everyone left. "Sorry about Bates...."

John glanced up from his lap top. "He doesn't need you to make excuses for him," he said, but he kept his voice mild. Ford was doing his best, and having his CO and the senior noncom at odds didn't make his job any easier. "I've dealt with worse," he added.

"Okay." Ford leaned back in his chair. "Can I ask you something, sir?"

"Sure."

"Special Ops, right?"

John nodded. "Yeah. Kinda gave myself away the other day, I guess."

"The troops...why didn't you say something before?"

"Let me guess," John said, amused. "Your grunts like me more now?"

Ford ducked his head a little but sounded serious when he answered. "They're pretty impressed. Since you're, you know...." he paused a beat and then grinned. "Air Force and all."

It was the first time Ford had made anything even remotely like a joke about John being a sub; John smiled and shook his head. "Yeah, well, before they get to thinking I'm Superman, remind them that Teyla can still kick all our asses."

"I thought McKay was Superman." John laughed but Ford continued. "Is it true he tried to take a bullet for Dr. Weir?"

Wondering how that one had gotten around so fast, John nodded. "So she tells me." Rodney hadn't said anything to John about it, which was more of a surprise than the fact he'd put his life on the line for Elizabeth. Knowing Elizabeth, she'd said something to Grodin and he'd gotten the word out.

"Anything else?" he asked Ford.

"No, sir. See you in the morning."

"See ya."

Leaning back in his chair, John stretched. He was tired; sitting around talking most of the day sometimes took more out of him than sparring with Teyla or running away from Wraith. He kind of wanted to get up and take a walk, but it was after 18:00 and he still had some things he needed to jot down before dinner.

 _If I'd known I'd do this much typing in the military, I'd have become a secretary,_ he thought as he opened a new document and started a list of places around the city he wanted to stash weapons. Next time someone attacked the city, it might not be so easy to get to the armory.

About twenty minutes later, his mail notification pinged at him. Rodney, asking if he was busy. _If not, come have dinner with me._

John wasn't sure if it was an order or what, but he was hungry and almost done with his list.

 _Ten minutes?_ he sent back.

Almost exactly ten minutes later, he strolled into the mess hall, still wondering if Rodney was being controlling or just being Rodney. He wasn't sure which answer he'd prefer and that, he thought as he got his food, was kind of weird.

"Hey," he said. Teyla was sitting with Rodney and she smiled up at him while Rodney waved a vague hello, his mouth clearly full.

"Do you need a ride over to the mainland tonight?" he asked Teyla once he'd gotten settled.

"Lieutenant Miller offered to take me."

"Is he still sweet on...what's her name?" Rodney asked. "That pretty girl?"

"Wow," John said. "That really narrows it down."

"Her name starts with an M, or is it an N?" Rodney frowned. "You know who I mean."

"Marta?" John asked.

"I believe he finds her very attractive." Teyla said.

"Is that going to be a problem?" John asked, making a mental note to check with Elizabeth before talking to Miller. He had no idea how the SGC dealt with this sort of fraternization, and he really should have asked before this.

"Right now it seems to be simple flirtation on both their parts," Teyla said. "I think she is flattered at the attention."

"Okay," John said with a nod. "Just let us know if anyone...you know, says or does the wrong thing."

"It's inevitable, really," Rodney said later, as he and John walked down the corridor from the transporter to their rooms.

"What is?"

Rodney glanced around and then grabbed John's upper arm. "Our people getting involved with the Athosians," he said, as he all but dragged John into his room.

"Nice multi-tasking," John said, just a little breathlessly. "Thanks for checking the halls first."

"I can be a very thoughtful boyfriend...person...whatever." Rodney reached for John's jacket and then paused. "You didn't have plans tonight, did you?"

They'd both been busy enough and tired enough that this was the first time in a couple of days they'd been alone with an evening ahead of them. John shook his head. "Not until now, Rodney."

"That is so weird." Rodney winced and hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Sorry, sorry...gah."

"It really bugs you, doesn't it? The formality?"

"No!" Rodney said quickly. "Well, not exactly. It's just that you're so informal most of the time, even with Elizabeth and your troops. I just never imagined you'd be like that."

"You didn't...." John looked at Rodney for a moment. "I thought you said you forgot I was a sub most of the time."

"Jesus, you have a memory like an elephant."

John didn't really want to get into how he remembered it because it had been kind of an insulting thing to say, so he just shrugged.

"Okay, fine." Rodney sighed. "You're hot, all right? And while I try not to be a total pig, I'm not blind. So it's possible that yes, I remembered you were a sub now and then."

"You...were interested in me? Before?"

"Huh. I didn't realize I'd been so subtle. I'm not exactly the only one, you know."

"Really?" John took a deep breath. "You learn not to notice."

Rodney's mouth tightened a little and then he shook his head as if dismissing an unpleasant thought. "Wow, I totally killed the mood there, didn't I?"

"A little, yeah." John said. He smiled a little as he glanced coyly at Rodney. "Maybe you could tell me what I could do to get it back?"

"Hmmm," Rodney said, looking him over. John stood up a little straighter. "Strip for me."

Before John could get started, Rodney added, "Just take your clothes off; I'm not expecting a striptease."

"I could do that," John said, and then winced as he pulled his jacket off. Why the hell had he said that?

"How...okay, no. Not gonna ask. At least not right now." Rodney snapped his fingers. "C'mon, naked!"

"Yes, Rodney," John said automatically. He almost apologized but then he caught a pleased look on Rodney's face as Rodney turned away and headed for the closet. Rodney might find the formality weird coming from John, but it seemed he liked it anyway.

"Where do you want me?" he asked as soon as he was naked. Rodney was still rummaging around in his closet muttering to himself, but he looked over his shoulder and stared at John for a moment, his eyes wide.

"Oh, uh...on your knees on the bed."

By the time John got himself settled, Rodney had come back to the bed, a tangle of leather straps in his hands. "Sorry that took so long," he said. "I packed at the last minute; my bag's kind of a mess." He paused and looked John over. "God, you're hot."

It was the second time Rodney had said that, and John bit back the automatic denials--he was too hairy, he hadn't shaved, he wasn't wearing makeup or jewelry--but no. No one wanted to hear that; it always sounded like he was looking for reassurance.

"You really are," Rodney said, reaching out and running his fingers down John's neck from behind his ear to his collarbone. John shivered and leaned into the touch, sure his ears were red.

When Rodney spoke again, his tone was much brisker. "Okay, how're your shoulders?"

"Fine."

"Good. Hands behind your back, then...good, but put your elbows closer together." Grabbing the straps, Rodney got up on the bed behind John. "Gimme a minute to sort these out...huh...oh, okay." He wrapped a strap around John's wrists and buckled it.

"I wonder if I could barter for bondage gloves," he said, as he buckled another strap around John's forearms, pulling them close together. "Too tight?"

"Uh...no," John said, his voice a little rough. He was dropping into headspace _hard_ , and it felt fantastic.

"You okay?" He could feel Rodney's fingers checking the straps.

"Yes, Rodney. It's...I like this a lot."

"Oh, good," Rodney murmured, leaning in to kiss the back of John's neck. John shivered again. "I'm taking mental notes, you know." Rodney kissed him again and then sat back.

The third strap went around John's arms above the elbows; he felt it in his shoulders as Rodney buckled it tight. It wasn't uncomfortable at all, but it made him totally aware that he was in bondage. He slid his knees further apart and straightened up a little.

"Oh, very nice," Rodney said, running his hands down John's arms. He moved around until he was sitting in front of John. "Looks good from here, too. Oh, hey, maybe next time I'll put some padding down and put you on the coffee table. That'd give me better access." When John bit his lip, Rodney grinned. "You like that idea?"

"Yes, Rodney."

"Huh...I just might be able get used to that." He reached out and ran his finger lightly over John's collarbone.

Being bound somehow made the touch seem more intense than it had been the other night. John caught his breath and then sighed just a little as Rodney did it again.

"Maybe a blindfold next time too," Rodney murmured as if talking to himself while his finger moved to the hollow of John's neck. He sounded like he did while talking himself through something complicated in the field or in the lab and John was surprised at how arousing he found it. Normally, it was kind of annoying.

"Now, I seem to remember...." Rodney reached down and pinched one of John's nipples.

Even though he'd known it was coming, John gasped a little, and when Rodney did it again, harder this time, he squirmed.

Rodney's expression got a little sharper, and he kept his eyes on John's face as he got a good grip on John's nipple and twisted it hard. "Fuck," John moaned as the sudden jolt of pain hit. He could brace himself for a beating or a spanking, but somehow he was always shocked at how much it hurt when someone played with his nipples. Rodney did it again and then again, and John yelped each time, fighting the urge to pull away.

Pausing, Rodney rested his hand on John's chest. His face was a little flushed and his eyes seemed a little darker, and John realized that Rodney hadn't been kidding the other night when he'd said he was a sadist. He really was getting off on hurting John and, God, but John wanted to hurt more for him.

"Please," he said, arching his back to push his chest out just a little more. "Please, Rodney."

"Tell me what you want, John."

And for once, as Rodney stroked his chest, it was easy. "Hurt me. Please, Rodney."

"Good," Rodney murmured, twisting and pulling John's nipple at the same time while John gasped for breath. "Very good, John."

He played with both nipples until John was panting and aching and so fucking hard it almost hurt. Every once in a while, he'd pause and pinch other parts of John's chest and sides. "Oh, fuck," John gasped when Rodney grabbed a bit of skin along his ribs and twisted his fingers hard. "Fuck, that hurts!"

Rodney paused and looked at John thoughtfully. "I've been assuming that no means no, but does it help if you can say 'stop' and not have to mean it? Or have I reached your limit?"

His tone wasn't challenging at all, but still, John frowned a little. "No, Rodney," he said. "I can take more."

"All right. Do you want a word?"

"Do you want me to pretend I don't want it?" John asked, a little confused. He'd thought that Rodney had liked it when John asked for more.

Rodney blinked. "Okaaaay...no, not this time." He gave John an odd look and then pinched him again and then again. John yelped and squirmed and soon forgot about anything but the scattered points of pain across his chest.

By the time Rodney stopped, John was shaking and panting and desperate to come. His nipples were throbbing, and he couldn't help groaning when he saw Rodney reaching for something that turned out to be a handful of metal and chain.

"You're way ahead of me," Rodney said with a grin.

Of course, John hadn't guessed all of it; he jumped a little as Rodney reached down to stroke his cock. He wanted to thrust up into Rodney's hand, but, bound and kneeling as he was, it wasn't possible.

"Easy," Rodney murmured, stroking his flank like he was a nervous horse or something. Oddly enough, it worked; John took a deep breath and settled down again. "Good," Rodney said as he untangled the metal.

It turned out to be a cock ring attached to a pair of nipple clamps by a chain, and John couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped him when Rodney snapped the cock ring around the base of his cock.

"You need to tell me something," Rodney said, holding up the clamps. "If I put these on you and leave them there for a while, will you be too sore tomorrow?"

"Oh. Um...." John blinked, trying to think it through. Rodney reached up and brushed a thumb across one of John's nipples, as if he was helping or something, and John moaned. "I think...yes, Rodney, it'll be okay. I've got some stuff...if it gets to be too much."

Rodney nodded, looking pleased. "Good, because this? Is going to hurt like hell."

"Ow, fuck!" John yelled as the first clamp went on. It was fucking _tight_ and, yeah, Rodney was right. "Oh, God...you weren't kidding."

"Nope," Rodney said, grinning widely. "You look fantastic when you're hurting like this," he added just before closing the other clamp on John's left nipple.

John yelled again and then again when he tried to straighten up; the chain was just a little too short and the clamps tugged at his nipples with every move he made. It felt fucking amazing and he squirmed some, trying to get more of that sensation. When Rodney realized what he was doing, he reached up and tugged on the chain a couple times, still smiling broadly as the pain made John groan.

"All right, hot as this is, I'm done teasing myself," Rodney finally said. He reached for the pillows and arranged them in front of John. "Down you go." Although Rodney was careful as he eased John down, it still hurt like fuck once John was lying on the nipple clamps. His chest rested on the pillows, and his left shoulder lay on the bed taking the rest of this weight. He yelled into the bedding, and then turned his head so he could breathe.

"Shoulders okay?"

"Yes, Rodney," John said, breathlessly. "For about a half hour or so."

"Oh, very good, John." Rodney stroked his flank again. "From now on, I want you to give me that kind of information when you can."

"Yes, Rodney," John said.

"And don't worry; I won't need the whole half hour."

Finally, John thought, as Rodney grabbed a bottle of lube off the nightstand and moved around behind him. After Rodney hadn't fucked him those first few times, he'd started to wonder if, for some reason, Rodney didn't do that. Now, as Rodney rubbed at his hole with slick fingers, John sighed happily and spread his legs a little wider.

"Jesus," Rodney muttered, so quietly John could barely hear him. "How are you so...." He fell silent and John felt his fingers, brisk and efficient as they pushed lube into him. He tried to rock back, tried to get more, and then yelled as the nipple clamps tugged at his nipples.

He was still pretty tight when Rodney pushed his cock in, slow, but steady. "Yeah," John moaned. "Please...please, Rodney...oh God, been so long...."

"Fuck," Rodney grunted. "I can tell." Once he was all the way in, he paused and then pulled back. He fucked John with a couple of smooth easy strokes and then stopped. Not caring that it would hurt, John pushed back, but Rodney smacked his hip. "None of that," he said, moving his hand to cup John's shoulder.

"John? You with me?"

"Yes, Rodney," John murmured, wondering what was coming next. He liked this about Rodney, he realized. Liked that Rodney's scenes were complicated and seemed to be about packing as much sensation as possible into each moment.

"I'm going to sit back and pull you up into my lap," Rodney said. He sounded breathless, but when he moved, he pulled John up easily.

"Oh God...oh fuck...Rodney," John gasped out. The angle pushed Rodney's cock further inside him and the chain on the clamps pulled and he hurt in half a dozen places and....

And it was fucking fantastic. "So good," he moaned. "Let me...please, Rodney, let me move."

"Go ahead," Rodney said.

It wasn't easy, but then Rodney gripped John's hips and John found his balance, fucking himself _hard_ on Rodney's dick. "That's it," Rodney murmured in his ear. "Straighten up your back more...let those clamps pull tight."

It hurt like hell; John threw his head back and yelled as the pain rolled over him. It was amazing and he let it build up, let it wind him higher as he rocked on Rodney's lap. The thick slide of Rodney's cock inside him felt so good and the more he moved, the better it got; he was locked into that familiar cycle where the pain made him push himself to get more which hurt which made him push himself....

"Oh God, oh God, _oh God_...."

"Tell me, John," Rodney said, shoving up into him roughly.

"It hurts like fuck, Rodney," John managed to get out. "God, it's so...so fucking _good_...haven't hurt this much...felt this good...in ages...oh God, please, Rodney!"

"Please what?" Rodney's hands dug into John's hips and John hoped he'd have bruises there in the morning.

"Please, let me come...please, Rodney." John wanted Rodney to say no, but he'd never really figured out how to ask for that.

"You want to come?" Rodney pulled John down and held him there. He reached around and then down, between John's legs, and unsnapped the cock ring. "Okay, you can come when the clamps come off."

Before John could say anything or even prepare himself, Rodney gave a hard yank on the chain, tugging both clamps off John's nipples. The pain was blinding, like being hit by lightning, and John threw his head back and screamed as he came. It was so good, so intense, that he lost track of everything for a second or two while his body shook from an overload of sensation.

"Thank...thank you, Rodney," John managed to say as soon as he was aware of himself and his surroundings again. "Thank you...."

"Oh, fuck," Rodney muttered. He sounded wrecked, and John wasn't all that surprised when Rodney pushed him back down over the pillow. His nipples were sore enough that even the contact with the pillow hurt and he had tears on his cheeks and on the corners of his eyes. It felt fantastic, almost like he was floating, and when Rodney grabbed his hips again and started fucking him hard, John spread his legs and arched his back and just gave himself up.

"So hot...so fucking hot...tell me...tell me why you thanked me...John." Rodney was pounding into him over and over, each rough stroke making John float up just a little higher.

"Yes, Rodney," he said. It was a bit of an effort to talk, but he kept going. "You hurt me, and fucked me, and made me come. It was so good, hurt so much...thank you, Rodney." Rodney moaned and sped up and John was falling into a familiar, comfortable groove now, so he kept going. "Thank you, Rodney, for tying my arms. My chest, my nipples, still hurt...thank you, Rodney. Thank you...oh god, _thank you,_ for making me cry, Rodney."

With an odd noise that was half-groan, half-shout, Rodney slammed into John one more time and then went still, his hands digging into John's hips as he came. If the noise he was making was any indication, it was a pretty spectacular orgasm; John smiled into the pillow, feeling just a little proud of himself.

Rodney slumped down on John's back and arms for a moment, and for all that John's shoulders were finally feeling the strain, it felt good. It felt even better when Rodney kissed his shoulder and murmured, "You're so very good. Thank you, John."

They stayed like that for a moment or two, and then Rodney sat back. John remained where he was as Rodney unbuckled the straps, starting with the one above his elbows. As soon as he'd gotten them all, Rodney moved and gave John's hip a soft slap. "Stretch out or roll over, if you want to. Whatever you need to get comfortable."

Even as he spoke, he was running his hands up John's arms, so John just stretched his legs out and stayed on his stomach. His nipples and some of the places Rodney had pinched still hurt, but not enough to warrant turning over. "How're your arms?" Rodney asked. "Your shoulders? Does this hurt?"

"I'll be a little stiff later, Rodney," John said. "I feel good now. Loose."

"Endorphins?"

"Yes, Rodney. And coming that hard."

Rodney chuckled. "Yeah, me too. Is this all right?" He pressed a little harder on John's upper arms and then slid his hands up to John's shoulders.

"Feels good. Thank you, Rodney."

"Mmmm...stay there." Once again, Rodney leaned over to pull something out of the nightstand. When he sat back and started in on John's shoulders again, his hands were slick and slid easily over John's skin. "Let me know if you want me to press a little harder, but I'm not trying to hurt you, understand, John?"

"Yes, Rodney. A little harder, please, Rodney." John knew he should be helping clean up and making sure that Rodney was okay, but it felt too good to lie here and anyway, if Rodney's occasional hum was any indication, he was enjoying it too.

Rodney was quiet for a surprisingly long time as his hands worked on John's arms, shoulders and upper back and John slowly came up out of headspace. Rodney gave a damn good massage and John was pretty sure his shoulders wouldn't be that stiff in the morning after all. If he'd ever imagined being topped by Rodney, he wouldn't have guessed he'd get this level of aftercare; he couldn't help chuckling a little.

"What's so funny?" Rodney asked.

"Not funny, exactly," John said. "Just...this is nice."

"And I'm not nice." Rodney sounded more amused than anything and John tilted his head to look up at him.

What he saw surprised him more than the aftercare--Rodney was looking down at him fondly, maybe even affectionately, with none of his usual impatience or irritation. John's chest twisted just a little and he wondered again why he'd never thought of Rodney as a potential top.

"You are, Rodney," he said and he was far enough out of headspace now to add, "but I won't tell anyone."

"Well...." Rodney gave John's back one last stroke and then he sat back on his heels. "See that you don't." Before John could say anything more, Rodney gave him a light tap to his hip.

"Roll over; I want to see your chest."

Once John was on his back, he looked his chest over too. His nipples were red and a little puffy, but he couldn't see any of the bruises through his chest hair. He felt them, though, as Rodney carefully pressed each one, frowning a little.

"I'll be fine," John said.

"What about these?" Rodney asked, brushing his thumb lightly over one of John's nipples. John winced but it didn't really hurt too much.

"A little sore, but I have...."

"Some stuff." Rodney got up, gathering up the straps and the clamps. "I have some stuff, too," he said. "But first, if you're up for it, we should probably shower."

The shower was nice and hot, and Rodney talked through most of it.

"So anyway, I need to check with Elizabeth and then maybe in a couple of days, we could head out to the satellite?" he said after a long explanation about a possible weapons system or telemetry satellite or something a couple of his people had maybe found.

"Sure," John said. "It'll be a chance for you to get in some flight time."

"Joy," Rodney muttered. "You hungry?"

"Nope," John said as he finished rubbing a towel over his head. "Are you?"

"Just a little," Rodney said. "I've got some of that flatbread stashed in my desk...."

He was still messing with his hair, so John headed back into the bedroom and tidied up some, putting the lube and a bottle of lotion back into the nightstand drawer and then straightening up the bed.

"Oh, hey, thanks," Rodney said. "Um...can you stay for a while?"

John glanced at the clock; it wasn't as late as he'd expected. "Sure, unless you want to turn in early?"

"Because I do that all the time," Rodney said, digging through his desk. "Oh, there it is...you sure you don't want some?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"C'mon, the bed's more comfortable than the couch if we want to stay naked." Rodney put a piece of flatbread and his reusable water bottle on the nightstand.

"Mine's not," John said as they settled down in bed. "Also, it's pretty small."

"You live in a hole," Rodney said. "You need to get bigger quarters; it's embarrassing."

"Embarrassing?"

"You're the military commander. You should have a decent room." Rodney did that weird eyebrow wiggle thing he did when he thought he was being suggestive. "And a bigger bed."

"We're better off here," John said. "I don't have much in the way of stuff." He really didn't want to explain that having a bed he couldn't share with anyone sent a pretty strong message about his sex life, or lack thereof.

"Sadly, neither do I." Rodney paused. "What did you bring? If you don't mind me asking."

John blinked at him. "Of course you can ask."

"Well, I don't want to assume...." Rodney sighed. "You're hard to figure out."

"So I've been told." John ran a hand through his hair. "It's...things are complicated for me. It's easier in a scene. Once I go down...." He shrugged a little, hoping Rodney would understand.

"Oh, God, for me too. It's much easier to focus on only one thing when I'm in headspace." Rodney handed him the water bottle. "Sorry I don't have any beer."

"That's okay." John paused, not sure what to say. For a moment he almost wished the scene hadn't gone as well as it had, that he hadn't dropped as far as he had as fast as he had. But then he remembered that moment when Rodney pulled the clamps off and, yes, he was glad it happened.

"You don't have to explain," Rodney said before John could say anything. "I won't push."

And that was weird, because normally Rodney was nothing _but_ push push push all the time. John almost tried to explain, but then the words weren't there and the moment passed. So he just leaned back against his pillows and smiled at Rodney. "I brought a few things. A couple dildos, three butt plugs, some cock rings and a set of cuffs. You?"

"Wow, you really didn't bring much. I've got a full set of cuffs, those clamps, a couple packages of clothespins, a bunch of those straps I used tonight, some really good cotton rope, a couple floggers, a paddle, two different canes and the shorter of my two single tails. Oh and a few toys...some plugs, a vibe or two, some dildos...." He frowned a little. "I'm probably forgetting something; like I said, I packed at the last minute and I haven't had a chance to go into the bag until the other night when I needed those cuffs."

 _A single tail?_ John remembered teaching Rodney to shoot. He'd been uncomfortable with a gun, but even taking that into account, he'd hit the target pretty often for a newbie. The idea that Rodney had that skill because he'd learned how to properly use a single tail was pretty hot.

John shoved the thought away and concentrated on the more important question. "You haven't been with anyone? Here, I mean?"

"No. If I had, I'd have told you before we got started." Rodney said. He looked a little insulted and John felt kind of embarrassed for asking. "And anyway, when have I had the time?" He paused and then quickly added, "not that I won't make time for you, of course."

"You don't...." John trailed off as he tried to figure out how to phrase it. "Like I said the other day, we have these complicated jobs. I don't expect you to drop everything for me."

"I know, but trust me, I'm not doing this just for you. Um...that came out badly."

"No, I get it," John said with a chuckle. "Although I kind of got the impression that tonight's scene was all for me. I mean, I could tell how much you hated it."

"God, no kidding. It was awful." Rodney tilted his head a little and smiled broadly. "Actually, it was great. I haven't played with a serious masochist in a long time and you're amazing when you're hurting."

"It's been a while for me, too. And...I...well, I haven't gone down like that in even longer."

Rodney was quiet for a moment, that affectionate look from earlier back on his face. "Thank you, John. That means a lot to me."

And even though he wasn't in headspace, it was easy to respond to Rodney's formality with some of his own. "To me too, Rodney."

 _-the end-_

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place a couple days after "With You There's No Easy Answer." Give my beta helens78 a big hand, will you? :) The title is a line from "I Want Your (Hands On Me)" by Sinead O'Connor.


End file.
